


“Can I tell you a secret?”

by sadkane



Category: Leah On the Offbeat - Fandom, Leah on the Offbeat - Becky Albertalli, Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Before Simon vs, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Leah is a lil bit more pushy and it works, Pining, Pre-LOTO, Rated T for language, girls in love bc i’m lesbian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 12:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14592606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadkane/pseuds/sadkane
Summary: “So you’re just going to leave me hanging on the secret, Suso?” She smiled faintly.“Maybe I’ll tell you tomorrow.”“Or you could tell me today, I can give you a ride.” It felt important, somehow, what she had to tell me. Like it could change everything.ORWhat could’ve happened if Leah had gotten the secret out of Abby that one day in junior year





	“Can I tell you a secret?”

**Author's Note:**

> Sup the ending is lame but i did the texting bonus thing again (also yes this is in the same universe as my spierfeld fic, surprise!)  
> Canon divergence from the junior year flashback on chapter 18, the characters, universe, part of the summary and the italicized part in the beginning belong to Becky Albertalli and for her we’re all forever thankful <3  
> Enjoy.

_“Can I tell you a secret?” She studied my face for a minute, and then pressed her hands to her cheeks, smiling. “Wow, I’m really nervous.”_

_It was strange. She’d seemed breathless._

_“Why are you nervous?”_

_“Because. I don’t know.” Then she poked the edge of my drawing. “God. I really love this. I know exactly what moment that was.”_

_“Okay,” I’d said quietly._

_Then her hand brushed close to mine, and my organs rearranged themselves. That’s literally how it felt. Like someone stirred me up from the inside. I drew my knees up to my chest, feeling sharp-edged and awkward. Abby glanced at me for a split second, touched her mouth, and blinked._

_“You know, my bus is probably here.” She swallowed. “I should get down to the loading dock.”_

_“So you’re just going to leave me hanging on the secret, Suso?” She smiled faintly._

_“Maybe I’ll tell you tomorrow.”_

     “Or you could tell me today, I can give you a ride.” It felt important, somehow, what she had to tell me. Like it could change everything. I stopped hugging my legs, crossing them instead and leaning her way. I could see every single detail on her face, and she seemed to be counting my freckles for a moment.

     “It’s literally so out of your way” She smiled, exasperated. I shrugged

     “An early birthday gift, then. Come ooon, Abby” I probed, shaking her arm lightly. And I guess we were both equally stubborn, but she gave in easily enough, she must’ve really wanted to let it out.

     “Fine” She sighed, smiling a little. “But you have to promise not to freak out on me. Please.” She glanced around to make sure we were alone, looking nervous again.

     “Of course I promise, but what happened? Oh. My God, did you kill someone? Did you _kiss_ someone? Are you-“ she interrupted me.

     “I wanted to.” She admitted. “I wanted to kiss someone so bad it hurt, and I have no idea what to do about it.” I’m not gonna lie, my heart stung a bit. She looked at me out of the corner of her eyes, nervousness oozing out of her, when it clicked. Ouch.

     “Is it one of the boys? Is it Nick? Oh god, it’s Nick, right? I mean, that’s-“ fucking heartbreaking! “that’s great! I’m pretty sure he like-“ She stopped me again, smiling faintly while shaking her head at me.

     “It’s not Nick, Lee. I mean, Nick’s great, I just don’t see him that way.”

     “Simon then? Oh. Okay. I didn’t think he was your type but I mean, you’ve been spending time together with the play and everything, right?” That hurt even more, but can I even blame her?

     It’s pretty much tradition for _me_ to fall in love with every one of my friends at this point, I can’t blame her for wanting to kiss _one_ of them. She shook her head no again. “Bram? Garrett?” I pretty much said the name of every boy I know, you know, like a supportive friend who’s totally not crushing on her _straight friend_ , and she denied all. I was legit about to ask if she wanted to kiss Martin fucking Adderall when she blurted out

     “It’s you, Leah!” My breath hitched. “I wanted to kiss _you_.” She said, not meeting my eyes, and my lungs emptied out in a whoosh.

     I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Back at Morgan’s. And then again when you showed me the drawing. And besides that like all the time.” she continued. I couldn’t believe what _I_ was about to _do_ . “Sorry. I’m sorry. And I don’t get it and I’m freaking out, which is why _you_ can’t freak out, I’m freaking out enough f-“

   I kissed her mouth shut. God, I kissed her, and the world exploded. Leaving only me and Abby Suso. Holy shit. This was happening. I was half tempted to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, but was too afraid I’d wake up if I was. Holy shit. I was aware of every single place we were touching, her hands went to my neck, our noses rubbed lightly, my hand went to her leg for support and my brain turned to jello.

    Holy. Shit. She kissed like she danced. Like she lived. Passionately and with all of her being. I could taste raspberry gloss and iced coffee on her lips, and she sighed into the kiss. Or I did. I don’t know. My fingers grazed her jawline, and her fingers buried in my hair. I was kissing Abby Suso. I was having my first kiss with someone, which I initiated, and that person was Abby Suso. Holy shit.

    Abby pulled back first, and for a second I tried to pursue her lips with mine before opening my eyes. She was breathless and blushing (as if I wasn’t) and we just looked at each other for a minute. She was annoyingly beautiful.

   “So that happened.” She says, smiling bashfully.

   “Yeah, it did. I’ve-“ I might as well just say it. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while” I admitted, my face warming up. She laughed happily.

    “I’m glad you did.” She sighed. “Holy shit, I’m so happy” She kissed me, deep and fast and lovely. _Wow_. “You’re beautiful, by the way. Did I mention that?” I shook my head no, laughing breathlessly.

     My heart wouldn’t stop pounding. I felt giddy and giggly and braver than ever. I kissed her again, just a peck, then another and another until we were both just giggling messes, sitting alone in the courtyard.

     “So… you like me, huh?” teased Abby, with a small smile.

     “Oh my god, shut up” I hid my face in my hands, smiling. I can’t even.

     “But do you?” Her voice sounded softer now, making me uncover my face to look at her. She looked so hopeful and beautiful and _Abby_.

     “I mean, obviously.” How could i not? How could anyone _ever_ not like Abby Suso? I was being too cheesy, I don’t think my brain was working.

     “Good...” She sighed, “Me too.” she smiled again, seeming relieved. “Is this the part when we talk awkwardly about our feelings and I ask you out on a date?”

     “Do you _want_ to awkwardly talk about our feelings? Can’t we just acknowledge they exist and let things happen?” I have an image, for fuck’s sake. Can’t be around talking feelings with gorgeous girls with raspberry lip glosses. Subtlety is key here.

     She gasped dramatically “Did Leah Burke just admit to having feelings? Is this the end?” I pushed her, laughing.

    “Maybe i just have them for you.” Fuck me, I lost the key. Subtlety is out the window

    “Then maybe i just have them for you, too,”

    I almost told her she’s a big shiny ball of emotions, but thought better of it. She looked so happy. As happy as I felt, which was a fuck ton, I could just die right then, honestly. “Do you wanna maybe go on a date with me? You could finally make me watch all Harry Potter movies.”

    “No,” She deflated, her smile dying and I was quick to continue. “We’re not watching Harry Potter on our first date, you have to read the books first and we’d need all of our attention and 19 hours and 40 minutes.” She seemed relieved, a million watt smile back to her face “Definitely yes to the date though, maybe coffee? … Or a tv show marathon?”

     “Anything.” She laughed. “Also…” she breathed in, and I could tell she was thinking herself nervous again. “Are we dating? It’s okay if we’re not and you just want to try things out but- Do you plan on telling anyone? Because I don’t have a problem with it if you don’t and. Do you have- do you have a label? That’s what we call them, right?” I tried to interrupt her but she was on a roll. “I’ve done some googling and it says labels and that I’m probably bisexual or pan, because I think boys are just swell too, but tumblr says-“ I’m so glad I found a new way to shut her up, thank you fanfiction. Not that I don’t love when she’s talking, I do. But she needs to chill. She melted into our fourth kiss like she did into our first, and Should this be this good? I should probably pull away and say something. In a minute. Or two.

     When we pulled away I touched my forehead to her’s, my eyes still closed. “Didn’t we just agree to skip the awkward feelings conversation?” she laughed weakly. “I want to date you so bad, you have no idea. But we should probably see how it goes first, right?” I paused, opening my eyes for a second to see hers open and staring, and she nodded. I closed mine again. “Can you imagine the disaster it would be if it didn’t work out, with our friendship and our friend group? No thank you. I do _plan_ on telling people but can we wait? Just a bit? I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”

     A nod, along with a “thank god, I’m not either”

     I chuckled before continuing. “I’m bi. So bi. And I can’t believe you said swell.” another laugh, this time she pulled back a little, still keeping our faces inches apart “I can send you some links, because some things are right but some things are absolute bullshit and you should probably proceed with caution.” I opened my eyes to see her smiling, and we quickly put some space between us when a group of loud soccer boys walked nearby. I waved at Nick, Bram and Garrett, hoping I wasn’t as red as my cheeks felt. Bram eyed us with confusion and something else in his eyes, but seemed to ignore it after a second, going back to his complaints about having no ride home.

     “So we probably should plan our date inside, huh? So we’ll be able to, y’know. Hold hands and kiss and stuff” I said still looking at the boys as they got out of our hearing range, when my phone buzzed. I could see Abby smiling out of the corner of my eye while I read the notification.

     “You want to hold my hand? And stuff?” I side eyed her, before grabbing her hand and getting up. “You want to hold my hand!” She teased again, before asking where we were going. “What about _stuff_?”

     “My mom wants me home. I may have forgotten to warn her about staying here late with you today.” We got to my car and I opened the door for her, if only as an excuse to hold her hand a little longer. She smiled at me in thanks, before getting in.

      “So about our date…” she started.

      “About our date…” I smiled.

 

________________________________

_3 months later_

**The four musketeers**

(4 members, 2 online)

 

**Gal Pal:** sooooo idk how to tell you this (2:24am)

**Gal Pal:** wake up bitches this is important (2:26am)

_You called Peanut (2:26am)_

_You called Peanut (2:27am)_

_You called Rockstar 101 (2:27am)_

_You called Rockstar 101 (2:29am_

**Peanut:** what could u possibly tell us it couldn’t wait until it’s not 2 in the morgnin (2:29am)

**Leah:** morgnin (2:29am)

**Gal Pal:** so you know i said i liked someone... you know. when y’all asked (2:29am)

**Peanut:** ya it was like yesterdya? any developments on that (2:30am)

**Leah:** Ya it’s me and we’ve been dating for 3 months (2:30am)

**Leah:** Surprise! (2:30am)

**Peanut:**  WHATDHBEDJSJNDIS (2:35am)

_Peanut is callingyou_

**Peanut:** ANSWER IT (2:36am)

**Peanut:** WHAT (2:36am)

_Peanut video called you (2:36am)_

**Rockstar 101:** ???????? (6:35am)

**Gal Pal:** yes, nickolas? (6:38am)

**Rockstar 101:** not my name but also?? (6:38am)

**Rockstar 101:** je suis been knew? (6:38am)

**Peanut:** what (6:40am)

**Gal Pal:**???? (6:42am)

**Rockstar 101:** abby’s name on lee’s phone is gal pal and abs’ lockscreen is a drawing of herself?? by leah? (6:55am)

**Rockstar 101:** did @peanut srsly not know this (6:55am)

**Rockstar 101:** anyways i’m in the parking lot (6:56am)

 

**Author's Note:**

> The lack of post LOTO fics in this fandom is hubris and i had to fix it.  
> MIGHT do a part 2 if only to use my alternate summary to this that made me want to write cute gfs grossing everyone out with their love <3  
> Hope y’all liked it. Comment to feed my thirst for attention


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